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| xenasquill | 2007.04.14 - 07:50PM | 5: A Brilliant Student | Signed |
| Wow! I really like this story, and am saddened to see that it has not been updated since last year. I want to know what happens next - how the rest of Occlumency lessons go, how Severus survives his next Death Eater meeting, and more!
Your vision of Dumbledore and Moody both is rather darker than I picture them, but the writing is emotionally powerful and gripping. And I love your young Snape. So sad... Author's Response: Hi, I'm back and updating again :)) Thanks for the nice comments and I hope to have some new chapters (after ch 8, which is as far as I've got) written soon. | |||
| witchmom | 2006.08.11 - 09:22PM | 5: A Brilliant Student | Signed |
| Very very good!!!!!!!! Congrats on being so real in describing young Severus. Very well written. Author's Response: Thanks. This story is still a WIP, but I do hope to finish it this year sometime. Eight chapters are already written and I estimate there should be about 6 or 7 chapters after that. | |||
| maryh | 2006.07.06 - 06:42PM | 5: A Brilliant Student | Signed |
| The breathing and the imagery are good relaxation techniques, but this brings up a problem I also have with Snape's Occlumency lessons for Harry. These are relaxation techniques that people usually have to be taught. Where did Snape learn them? Or do we assume he came up with them all by himself? The big problem with Snape teaching Harry Occlumency wasn't just Harry's refusal to even try; it was also Snape's neglect to teach Harry HOW to clear his mind and relax. Author's Response: I suspect Snape came up with them himself, the more so as we now have proof from HBP that he is and was a creative thinker. Perhaps he could have done more to encourage a recalcitrant student, but he knew that Harry's ability to throw off Imperio was remarkable and since they use similar skill sets for the mind, he probably thought Harry didn't need further instruction on that score - especially since at no time did Harry ask for clarification. If you look at that first lesson, after the "control" attempt he did start to take Harry through the process: "Now I want you to close your eyes ... Clear your mind, Potter. Let go of all emotion... You will need more discipline than this ... focus now ..." and he then set him homework of practising the skill at bedtime every night. Muggle visualisation skills are probably not taught in Occlumency. I posit that every Occlumens has to find their own way to clear their mind. Perhaps Snape couldd outlined various different techniques that people use, but does he actually know any method other than his own? It's not as if he has ever been able to discuss the subject with anyone other than Dumbledore. The other Order members don't seem to know Occlumency, and the other Death Eaters don't know how skilled he is, if they know he can do it at all. | |||
| Lady Whitehart | 2006.07.05 - 07:27PM | 5: A Brilliant Student | Signed |
| Very nicely done! The way he used the imagery to control his thoughts was really quite interesting, especially the last one with the writing. Looking forward to your next post. =^) Author's Response: Thanks. I use visualisation myself sometimes - for example, when the dentist's drill or polisher is whining in my ear, I visualise a carpenter wood-turning a table-leg - so it was a natural choice for me. | |||
| EXECUTR | 2006.07.05 - 06:09PM | 5: A Brilliant Student | Signed |
| Good story. Please keep writing. Author's Response: thanks. I've written eight chapters so far. The firstseven were written pre-HBP, but I've made a few small edits to make the story HBP-compliant. | |||
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