Thanks to my reviewers and especially to my previewers, Bellegeste and Cecelle.

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“What’d they do to you this time?” Evan said as he dropped into a chair and let his heavy bag fall with a whumpf.

Severus opened his eyes and stared at the Infirmary ceiling. He could hear the rustle of a Honeydukes bag being opened and then the faint hiss and bang of an exploding bonbon. Shreds of paper shot up and slowly floated down. He brushed them out of his eyes. His first performance. And probably his easiest. Any incoherence in his story could be blamed on having just woken up from a week’s delirium. If only that were true.

“Wasn’t them,” he said. Blaming the Gryffindors was the obvious excuse, but that didn't make it a good one. Better to use one that couldn't be proven a lie; one never knew whom the Dark Lord might choose to interrogate and what he might ask. “I got bitten by a Dormis beetle it was too dark to see.”

Evan unwrapped a couple of bonbons and popped them in his mouth.

“Uh-huh. And why were you in the Forest after dark, anyhow? Thought you knew better than that?”

“I do.” Severus scowled convincingly at the funny-shaped crack above the next bed. It looked too much like a man with a sword in his back. He swallowed hard and set his teeth against the surging truth. This was his oldest friend. One day, his word would kill him. They were on opposite sides now.

“Well, then?”

“None of your business! Unless – Who wants to know?” The Dark Lord couldn’t know already, could he? One of them was probably reporting on the others. He wondered who.

“Who d’you think?”

Ssss. Another bang! He unclenched the fist he hadn’t realised he’d made. Evan’s voice was too unconcerned to be a warning. A hand snaked over to dangle the lolly bag over his face.

“Want one?” Evan asked.

“Not in my face, you great prat!” Severus pushed it away one-handed and turned to remonstrate. Their eyes met and for a moment he held his breath, wandering if his friend could see his betrayal. Apparently not.

“You gonna tell me or what?” Evan slouched backwards, his eyes returning to the bag he was gently jiggling. One of the bonbons was beginning to vibrate. He whisked it out and sent it sailing towards Filch’s second-best slop bucket, left behind in his hurry to catch whoever had been levitating statues to crash together on the next floor down. There was a plop, a sizzle, a fizzle and a phtt. His mouth turned down.

Severus took a long breath and let it out in a sigh. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d lied. It certainly wouldn’t be the last. This was one of the easy ones; later, the tales would get harder to spin.

“I was looking for a red squirrel drey –“

“A what?”

“It’s a nest red squirrels live in,” Severus muttered.

“So?”

“If you wouldn’t keep interrupting! We were going to brew Scintillation Solution this week. Dried red squirrel droppings in Potter’s cauldron would have made his hair fall out."

He let his mouth droop and his eyes narrow. His disappointment wasn’t all an act. He’d thought of that very prank as long as three years ago, the first time he’d leafed through the seventh year textbook. It had been a favourite daydream ever since, something to toy with whenever the Gryffs managed to catch him out. Or rather, it had been until they’d tried to kill him a year ago. After that, it had seemed entirely too flimsy. Now he wished he could go back to those simpler days.

He cast a quick, sideways glance and continued.

"He wouldn’t have had to drink it, just leaning over to stir like he does –” If he hadn’t been dithering over turning himself in, he’d have felt tempted to fulfil that old dream. As it was, he'd decided it was hardly worth the effort.

Evan’s mouth fell open, revealing an unlovely mess of half-chewed bonbons. He gulped them down, then gave a shout of laughter.

“For how long?”

“Not long enough to get expelled for. But he was planning to meet the Mudblood’s parents this hols." Evans, his unwilling Potions partner for the last two years, assigned together by Professor Slughorn. She wasn't so bad, but for being Potter's girlfriend. At any rate, she tried to get Potter to leave him alone.He forced a laugh and added, "I heard them talking. He'd have had to meet them bald.”

And she'd have been furious. He'd worked out how to do it unseen, but she'd have known, of course. Nobody else was keen enough on Potions to have heard of that rare combination but themselves and old Sluggy. Once she stopped yelling, she'd probably never have spoken to him again. 'Not that I care,' he told himself fiercely. But that was a lie. Sometimes he thought that if he'd been able to stop calling her Mudblood outside of class, maybe they'd even have been friends, but that had never been an option. A half-blood had to act purer than pure to stand a chance in Slytherin. Besides, any friend of Potter's could never be a friend of his.

Evan shook his head, his thin frame still shaking with mirth.

"Wow, how long had you been planning that one?"

Severus shrugged.

"Long enough."

Another bonbon in the bag began to sizzle. Evan fished it out and punted it into Filch's bucket. Plop, sizzle,splash! A fountain of water shot up and cascaded messily over the floor.

"Score!" He pumped his hand high, then grimaced and sighed.What a prank that would have been! “Pity you've missed your chance.”

Yes. It was.

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Exploding bonbons and Scintillation Solution are canon. Dormis beetles (made up) and red squirrels in the Forest are not - but the squirrels are probably there.