Disclaimer: Except for some OCs, the characters here and the world they inhabit are the creation and property of JK Rowling. This chapter is within the time line of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

A few weeks after sending his wife to stay with her mother, Severus Snape was running. He was trying to stay far enough away from Potter that he wouldn't have to appear to try to kill the boy, while keeping the other boy ahead of him. In that moment he realized that running was likely to be a major part of his life for the foreseeable future. Some day this would all be over. Hopefully it would be worth it.

A flash from a spell came past him and he concentrated again on the running. He must keep Draco ahead of him, out of danger. Then there was no avoiding it. Signaling the others to keep moving, he turned and engaged the boy. How dare Potter use Snape's own spells, after everything that had been done for him this year? How dare he attempt Unforgivables?

Somehow he disarmed the boy and got the others to keep moving. They must leave the grounds of the school without hurting any more innocents. They finally all left and Apparated away, having been given directions to meet with the Dark Lord.

That wizard's delight knew no bounds. In his glee over the death of the wizard he considered his greatest threat, Lord Voldemort was eager to celebrate. He even congratulated Draco for getting Death Eaters into Hogwarts, overlooking the boy's inability to kill the Headmaster. His greatest praise was for Severus Snape, whom he embraced like a brother, if one's brother were as cold as a reptile and very nearly as soulless as one. After congratulating each person for his participation in the successful raid of Hogwarts, he sent them away, telling them he would summon them to a secure hiding place within the next day.

Snape went to Grimmauld Place first. Somewhere in that horrible house there had to be a reason for him to continue his charade. Somewhere there was a clue or a message, or something, anything that would give him the strength to continue. The Headmaster must have left something, somewhere, that would heal the break in his heart. The older wizard must have known that the final spell on the tower would damage Severus Snape as much as Albus Dumbledore.

He started in the kitchen, not expecting to find anything, and moved on to the parlors and sitting rooms. There were letters strewn on a desk, love notes from Nymphadora Tonks to Remus Lupin, of all people. This would have made him raise his eyebrows at any other time, but did not help him tonight. He looked again, but did not see anything promising.

He tried the bedrooms. He found Regulus's and started there. If the boy had changed sides, there was nothing to indicate it in his bedroom at his parents' house. He sighed. As he worked through the house, his last hope was the bedroom of Sirius Black.

He found a small pile of two and three line letters and notes from Emily. They didn't appear to be anything special, just notes to confirm or postpone a date back in their youth. There was a slightly longer one about a vacation. He had an almost identical one to that, somewhere. They didn't belong here, though, and he pocketed them. Then he set thoughts of Emily aside. Somehow he had to keep Emily separate from this. He couldn't think of her just yet because he had to concentrate on why he had participated in such evil. Since the magic had left his wand on the tower, he didn't know any more.

As he kept looking, he found it. There was a picture of her with her little boy, just about a year old. She was looking up toward whoever was holding the camera and smiling with affection. Suddenly he was a young man again. His heart filled with the wishes and hopes they had all had so many years before. What happened tonight is what she would have wanted because she would have agreed with Dumbledore. The young man he had been then would have done anything she wanted. He scanned through the letter. It was mostly nonsense about a lady that lived in the neighborhood. It mentioned Dumbledore, and the second page finished, “Love, Lily.” His hands trembled as he read it, and he didn't notice the tears running down his face.

He took the second page of the letter and ripped the photograph in half, then folded both into one of his pockets. It wasn't much help. There was a time when he would have given anything for her love. Now it didn't matter, but it would have to do. He would look at them from time to time and he would remember why he was working so hard for a woman he had not loved in years.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He came back to himself and realized that if he had been looking for comfort, he had been wasting his time, because he never received it from Lily. There was one place he had always found comfort, and that was where he needed to be now. He made his way back to the hall of the house and eased out the door. Seeing no one on the street, he Disapparated.

Margo Smith's house was completely lit up, but Severus Snape could find no trace of people there other than those who should be. As he watched from a shadowy space across the street the windows slowly went dark. Finally, he watched a shadow that he knew was his wife as she carried a lone candle into the sitting room. It was now or never.

There were protective spells over the house, but they allowed him to pass without notice. Emily had told him she would trust him, but perhaps now that it was actually done it would be different. He quelled his doubts and slipped across the street. He knocked on the door, not sure of his welcome.

Her whisper was barely audible. “Severus! I'm so glad to see you!” Emily reached out her hand and pulled him into the house. “I was so worried. Are you injured?” He shook his head and let her lead him through the hallway. This was where he belonged. Her relief to see him was apparent in every motion, and the love she had for him surrounded him and warmed the chill he felt all the way through to his soul.

She guided him into the sitting room where she doused the light and pulled him into her arms. Only Emily would know to do this. Only Emily would hold him and stroke his back and shoulders while kissing his forehead and making soothing sounds. Only Emily knew the price he had paid this night. Only Emily could listen to his tale quietly and without condemnation as the sun came up.

---

Margo Snape noticed that the school was in complete disarray the next morning. Before she could sit at the Slytherin table, Neville came right up to her, limping a bit, in the Great Hall where students were milling and no one ate breakfast.

“You! It's your family's fault!”

She shook her head. “I don't know what you mean. I didn't do anything.”

“It was your father. He killed Dumbledore!” Other students were listening in.

Margo shook her head again. “It can't be. How could Dumbledore be dead? Anyway, my father loved Dumbledore and was working with him.”

“So Harry Potter is a liar? He saw the whole thing up on the Astronomy Tower. Dumbledeore is dead and your father killed him.”

Margo realized that Slytherin House had gathered behind her, with the rest of the school facing them. Luna Lovegood was standing beside Neville, trying to get him to sit down. He was waving her away, while his eyes never left Margo's face.

“Somehow this is a mistake...” said Margo.

“It's not.” Neville's face was red with an anger she would never have guessed was possible. “All this time, I thought—it was all a big show, wasn't it?”

“It was never like that.”

“It doesn't matter what it was like, Snape. You're a traitor, just like your father.”

Margo opened and closed her mouth, tears gathering in her eyes as those standing behind her took out their wands. With a rush of warmth she learned in that instant what it meant to belong to a House at Hogwarts. Slytherin would fight for her honor and the honor of their Head if it were necessary. She came to herself quickly. If she allowed this altercation to continue, it would end badly. She turned to her house mates.

“Stop, please! Ted,” she said to the young man standing closest to her, “please make them stop. If it's really like he said, then we need to be careful. Don't let this turn into a house war, please.”

Ted Nott looked hard at Margo but finally nodded and pocketed his own wand. Margo needed a moment. The tears would come for real any second, now. “Um, I think I need to go. Things will calm down if I'm not here...”

Margo backed out of the room. She pondered going to her father's office, but decided that if it really happened as Neville said, it was a waste of time. No one missed Margo Snape when she walked off the grounds and Disapparated. Arriving at her grandmother's terraced house, she ran in the door. “Mum! They're saying things about Daddy! Tell me it's not true, Mum!”

Hope walked into the family sitting room to see her parents clasped tightly together, hugging as if for dear life. Her Father looked overcome with grief and horror while her mother was trying to soothe him. When she came in, they parted and looked at her.

“Hope,” croaked Daddy.

She looked from one to the other. “It's true?”

“It depends on what you heard,” said Mum.

Hope looked at them. “They're saying that Daddy—that he—you did kill him, didn't you?”

He didn't deny it and she looked at her mother. “Mum? How can you touch him after what he did?”

Emily reached and clutched her husband's hand. “You don't know the whole story, Hope.”

Hope backed to the stairs. “I know that I don't want to be part of this family any more.”

“Hope there are things we need to tell you—“ her mother began.

“I don't want to hear it!” She ran up the stairs and into her bedroom.

Her parents were right behind her. Daddy tried the knob. “Margo Eileen Snape, open this door!”

“No! You're one of those Death Eaters after all!”

Severus looked at his wife, fresh grief in his face. Emily kissed him. “She doesn't understand any of it. Get cleaned up, there's a meal for you in the kitchen, and I'll try to sort her out.”

“You fixed me a meal?”

“I asked a house-elf to do it. I hoped you would come.”

“She will hate me forever.”

“She's seventeen. Do you remember what we did when we were seventeen?”

He looked at her. “You suggested an arrangement that eventually changed our lives.”

“She doesn't understand any of that and it's time to explain it to her.”

“Emily, if I didn't have you to come home to...”

“You would manage somehow, but I'm glad to be the one you come home to.” She kissed him again and pushed him in the direction of the bathroom.

Emily tapped on her daughter's bedroom door. “Hope? May I come in?”

“Is he out there?”

“No, dear, he's gone.” He had only gone as far as the wash room, but he wasn't in the immediate vicinity.

The door opened and Emily walked through, shutting it behind her. Hope was sitting on her bed, curled up with her pillows, and crying. Her mother walked over and sat next to her, running her fingers through the girl's hair.

“Mum, how could he?”

“He's not a Death Eater.”

“How do you know?”

“He would be dead if he had ever attempted the oath.”

“Mum, how is that possible?”

“Nineteen years and a bit ago, I knew a young man who had been disappointed in love. He thought that his life was over and he might as well join the Death Eaters. He was quite skilled in dark magic, although by that particular time he'd already started to study ways to keep it at bay. The Death Eaters had killed your grandfather—“

“They killed Daddy's mother, too.”

“Yes, dear, but at this part of my story, they had only killed your grandfather, and I would do anything to keep this young man out of the Death Eaters, so I suggested a bargain of sorts. In exchange for his staying out of the Death Eaters, I would give him my virginity.”

“You what?” This was an interesting turn, and not at all what one would expect from Mum.

“He didn't take me up on it for a long while. He really liked the other girl, but the day before she got married I guess I wore him down.”

“You did that?”

“I couldn't think of anything else. What neither of us understood at the time, although the young man figured it out a few months later, is that we made a sort of Unbreakable Vow between us. He could never go back on the promise.”

“You mean you had a Bonder in the room while you—?”

“We conceived her.” Emily took her daughter's hand and pressed it.

“Me? I'm the Bonder?”

“Um-hm. Meanwhile, the Dark Lord was very interested in your father. Daddy had shown such interest before. He was known to be so very talented in the dark arts, and is likely the most powerful wizard of his generation. It was important to someone like He-who-must-not-be-named that someone like your father either work with him or be destroyed.

“The Dark Lord came to understood why your father couldn't join the Death Eaters and looked for ways to bring Daddy into his fold without killing him. Eventually his servants ended up killing your grandmother and we secretly asked Dumbledore for help. It was Dumbledore who figured out how we could make this all work and help those who fought against the Dark Lord.”

“So then, why—why would Daddy kill him?”

“Since he couldn't join the Death Eaters, it was clear that some day your father would need to prove his loyalty to his so-called master. He and Dumbledore stayed up many nights trying to work out one scheme or another. Tell me something. When is the last time you saw the Headmaster?”

“A couple of weeks ago, when he was at dinner.”

“I know you haven't started your training yet, but think like a Healer. How did he look to you?”

She closed her eyes to picture the event. “He was very sick and looked like he was failing.”

“Last summer, the Headmaster ran afoul of a cursed object and it injured his health permanently. Your father, because he knew so much about ways to combat dark magic, was able to keep the curse from killing him outright, but could not remove it. Albus Dumbledore had a year or less to live. Meanwhile, the Dark Lord had a plot to have Draco Malfoy kill the Headmaster this school year and intended your father to do it as a back up.

“In Dumbledore's mind, this was the perfect opportunity and he made your father agree that when the time was right, your father would take the action that would convince Voldemort once and for all of Severus Snape's loyalty. They arranged that Dumbledore would give a signal and your father would do it.”

The coins were falling into place. “So the boy was Draco, and this is the thing that Daddy was supposed to do?”

Mum gave her a look.

“I heard you talking all summer. I couldn't figure it all out, but now I think I understand. You've known all this time?”

Mum nodded.

“How could Daddy go along with it and still not be evil?”

“Margo Eileen, what was the last thing the Headmaster ever said to you?”

“He said, 'Your father is a good man and I trust him completely.' How could...Mum, how could they arrange such a thing?”

“Much of what your father and I have done has been to protect you, dear. There has always been the fear that the Death Eaters would kill you in the hope of breaking the vow between your father and me. Dumbledore's main goal has always been to protect Harry Potter. That young man has a task to fulfill, and until he's ready to do it, the Headmaster wants him protected in every way possible.”

“So this is all Dumbledore's plan, after all?”

“Yes, dear.”

“What happens next?”

“For one thing, no one can know about any of this until it is all over, and maybe not even then. It will be quite difficult, given who your father is, because people will make cruel and ignorant comments, but you must remain as calm as possible and not try to justify anything. Use the Occlumency he taught you. Other than that, we need to see what happens.”

“Do I have to go back to school? They all hate me now, even,” she choked the words out, “even Neville. He was ready to start a duel with me in the Great Hall. It would have turned into a big fight with all the houses.”

“I'll talk to Minerva. I'm not sure what they will do about finals this year. Why don't you rest for a while? We'll see what happens next.”

“Neville hates me now.”

“I'm sorry, but perhaps it was inevitable.”

“The whole school was standing behind him when he told me off.”

“The whole school?”

“No, Slytherin House stood behind me. I think they were really standing behind Daddy, in a way. They love him, don't they?”

“It's not obvious, but he does a lot for his students.”

“Anyhow, it was Neville who told me about Dumbledore and he accused me of being part of it. He said we're all traitors.”

“He was upset.”

“I don't think he can break my heart a single bit more, but if he came to the door right now, I would want to be with him.”

Mum's only answer was to run her hands through Hope's hair and kiss her forehead.

They sat for a few minutes.

“Um, Mum? You mean you weren't married yet, and you did that, and you didn't even love each other?”

Mum sighed. “It's not the recommended way of doing things, that's for sure. I was pretty desperate to keep your father from doing something horrible. I knew I loved him by the end of that day, and he figured it out after a while. We realized that we had really loved each other all along.”

“He was that way over a girl?”

“Aren't you a little bit that way over a boy? Don't be too upset with Daddy. As soon as he knew about you, he wanted to get married so that he could be your Daddy. He's the one who said we would call you Hope. You are very much attached to the moment when he chose a different path for his life.”

“You love each other, now, don't you?”

“Oh, yes, that's why we're going through Daddy's troubles together, at least as much as we can.” Mum had a look on her face that worried Hope.

“What's going to happen?”

Mum shook her head. “I don't know, and I'm scared. Daddy will be safe to stay here today, but he has to hide with some other people and with You-Know-Who, and I don't know when we'll see him again. The only thing we can really do to help him is to be as cheerful as possible when we're with him, so he won't worry about us when he has to be elsewhere."

“Is this what's had you worried all this time?”

“Yes, dear. Whenever you father has to go to him, there's a chance he will be hurt or killed. Spies get found out all the time and they rarely survive discovery.”

“I'd like to go see Daddy, now.”

“I think that's a good idea.”

---

“Daddy?”

Severus looked up from his empty plate and the Daily Prophet, which had condemned him already. Hope walked over to him and hugged him.

“I'm sorry you had such a bad day, yesterday, Daddy. I love you.”

“I love you too, Little Girl.” His arms went around her as his eyes sought his wife's, which were bright with moisture. He held his daughter for as long as she hugged him. Finally she kissed him and went up to her bedroom.

Emily gathered up the empty dishes and cutlery and started to clean up. Her husband turned in his chair. “What did you do?”

“I told her everything.”

“Everything?” He got up to help put the dishes away.

“I may have left out a few of the more prurient details about the night she was conceived, but I told her about our agreement, and about how you came to be working for both Dumbledore and the Dark Lord.”

“You told her that Albus wanted me to—? What if she tells someone?”

“There's no one she could tell who would believe her. They will all say that of course she would say something like that.”

He put his arms around her and his face on her shoulder.

“Emily, I'm lost. I want to go back and start all over again.”

“We can't do that, Severus. Would you rather not have our children? Or our marriage?”

He let her lead him up the stairs. “What if someone comes to question you?” he asked.

“Scrimgeour and Moody have already been by to ask me where you were likely to go. I told them I had no idea that you were capable of what you had allegedly done and therefore couldn't begin to guess what you might do next.”

“They won't come here to look for me?”

“It was the first place they searched last night, and then Alastor Moody himself placed the spells that will not allow Death Eaters into this house. I chose not to enlighten them about our particular loophole.”

“What about your mother?”

“Of course she doesn't understand it all, but she trusts me that it's not how it looks.”

“Emily, I need you.”

She undid his dressing gown and pushed it from his shoulders before guiding him onto the bed. “You are injured.” Her fingers traced several deep scratches on his back.

“Oh, that Hippogriff of Hagrid's...or is it Black's? You know the one I mean. It flew at me just before we got to the gates.”

“I do know it.” She bit her lip in concentration as she cleaned and dressed the wounds. Then for several minutes she kneaded the knots in his shoulders and back. She rubbed his arms and his legs, willing him to relax, and finally rolled him over. He watched as she undressed herself and slid down next to him. He let her draw his head to her welcoming softness and allowed himself to be comforted.

Emily let Severus set the pace of what happened next. He had always been so bold, so self-assured from the first time they had ever made love, but today he was tentative, almost fearful. Her heart broke for him as she returned his touches, hoping that he would gain some confidence from her love. He clung to her as if he were a drowning man, and when it was over he held her tightly, weeping.